This morning I got a phone call from my father, which was very weird because he usually doesn’t call me unless it is an emergency. He suddenly asked me “when are you going to get married?” My answer was simple “soon”. I felt his anxiety. He wants me get married as soon as possible. The problem is that I haven’t thought about marriage before. I called my sister who is married and I told her what my father said to me. She said that he actually tried to buy a house for me in case I get married soon. I was shocked.
My father believes that there are time periods for everybody, especially for me.
Age 5-20: Studying
Age 20-26: military service & university
Age 27-30: first job & first(?) marriage
Age 31-65: work hard & raise children
Age 61- : I don’t know yet his mind
I don’t think this perception is much different from other Koreans’. I wonder how people think about me if I don’t follow this rule. Maybe, I will be a cultural outlier(?) who doesn’t do what he or she supposes to do. Since I don’t want to be any kinds of outlier I probably follow the time schedule. Is it funny? Now we are free to do anything, but at the same time we are afraid to do it.
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are males required to do military service in korea? According to your timeline, you may be in the age range of 20-27, but you don't look older than 22 to me.
ReplyDeleteWow! That must be pressure. But its like in the black community, as soon as a couple gets married, everyone is expecting them to have kids. And if they say no, everyone, especially the "grandparents" get all twisted up about the situation.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm on the same time line, my family is always asking, when are you getting married? I reply, Are you going to pay for it? That usually shuts them up
ReplyDeleteI have to thanks my country and parents, for me, no pressure for marrige, and no militaly service for my country.
ReplyDeletenaju- good word, I will use it when time comes.
Thanks for all the comments.
ReplyDeleteI am still thinking about my next movement after college (I am senior). My liberal side telle me stay in school couple of more years, but conservative side tells me, "hey, it's time to get a job".
he is thinking marrage will help mature you / bring you into fold so you will not be outlier. he is probably correct. without knowing your cultural / economic / socio context and meeting you personally i cannot say other.
ReplyDeletethe whole of the world was starting to aspire rather high starting around your generation. and in general it has been rather subdued.
you have a difficult problem, you are the result of dreams but are leveraged against the most. maybe it is too dangerous to be lofty outlier?
did you marry?
is the problem you cannot find a mate of equal desireable genotype/phenotype/sociotype to your self as they are mostly taken by largly inferior people that have higher status?